The Chicago Polar Vortex

January 24, 2026 by Tom Featured
recipe
Official work from home status for all that can manage. Do not leave your house and shutter the drafts.

American tapas for dinner with a cheese and cracker board with XLB dumplings and ramen with two soft boiled eggs. Iced freezing water while bundled up in hoodies and warm socks.

Warm meal, cold nights

When the polar vortex hits Chicago, you hunker down. You stock up on essentials. You crack two Miller High Lifes and place them directly on the porch: nature’s refrigerator. Add two wet glasses to chill outside too. Pour two shots of Malört and let them sit at room temperature, absorbing the indoor air like a dare. Wait ten minutes. Let the cold do its work.

Champagne of beers

Retrieve two glasses and wake them up with lime. Run a wedge around the rim. Dress the edge generously with Maldon salt. Lake effect seasoning. Squeeze fresh lime into the freezing glass, then pour in the porch-chilled beer. Remove excess frozen foam. Return the glasses outside for two more minutes, just long enough for the wind to whisper into them.

This drink should remind you of the fourth-coldest Bears game ever played against the Browns.

Bitter. Sharp. Unforgiving. But earned.

Serve with: • A sun-zero, ice-cold champagne of beers • A room-temperature shot of Malört • One deep breath before committing

I present to you: The Chicago Polar Vortex.

A lime-cut wind chill. A salt-rimmed forecast. A bitter finish like winter itself.